By Elizabeth Oakes
Staff Writer
Families sit at tables with pictures of their lost love one during the fifth annual Remember Me Commemorative Walk.
Hundreds of students stood with candles flickering around people who walked in remembrance of those they have lost to homicide at the end of the 5th annual Remember Me walk Oct 1.
The evening began with a barbecue dinner in the Carl Grant Events Center. As survivors themselves, Nita Mehr, associate professor of social work, and Terry Blakely, professor of social work, presented awards.
This year, the Champion of Victims award was given to Jodi Pickens and Nucor, a steel plant in Dyersburg.
Blakely had no idea that after presenting those awards, she too would receive an award. Two captains from the Jackson Police Department went to the stage to recognize Blakely as an outstanding citizen.
“Oh my,” she said in tears as the room stood to applaud her.
Many people remarked throughout the evening how fitting the award was for Blakely because she faces the homicide of her husband with resilience.
The evening continued with a message from University President David S. Dockery, who shared a personal account of homicide loss.
“I remember a winter night 21 years ago, a day frozen in our lives even to this moment,” Dockery said.
After a day of interviews, Dockery returned home that evening to find his wife and three sons crying in the living room because Lanese Dockery’s father had been shot.
“I have heard that story ring in my ears for the last 21 years,” Dockery said.
Dockery said he still wrestles with the pain of the homicide. However, he encouraged those present to recognize they are not alone even though the voice of God may seem distant or silent.
“The answer to our questions comes in having the right perspective of God,” Dockery said. “In a dark hour we find these things still confusing and confounding. When this happens, we should recognize that because of God’s great mercies we are not consumed.”
Dockery encouraged everyone to focus on the reality of the hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness” as they crowded the sidewalks under Miller Tower.
Although many students attend as part of a class, they leave with a greater sense of what homicide survivors go through.
“Many treat it as an assignment until they are standing there with their candle; then they get it,” Mehr said. “It is a time for someone to take notice of the people they have lost.”
Survivors followed ROTC students from Liberty Technology Magnet High School in procession past each student who served as a witness for their loss.
As they walked, families carried framed pictures and T-shirts showing the victims’ faces. At the end of the procession, survivors received a white balloon to release in memory of their loved ones.
All at once, each survivor shouted the name of the loved one and released a balloon into the purple sky.
One student said it seemed odd to leave the walk and continue the night with schoolwork, because the event was so emotional.
“It is incredible how you can make an impact by simply witnessing somebody’s pain.” Becca Orosz, sophomore social work major said. “The power of presence is definitely evident in the homicide remembrance walk.”
Although the walk is an annual event, Mehr and Blakely co-lead a homicide support group on campus throughout the semester. The group meets for 10 weeks to participate in the restorative retelling model created by researcher Dr. Rynearson.
“After the loss, the horizon looks a little different and there is a new normal,” Mehr said.
The group gives the survivors a sense of community that they do not find anywhere else, she said.
