All adults must be proactive in combating child sexual abuse, according to a training program offered Monday.
“People want to keep [child sexual abuse] in the dark because they’re ashamed, they don’t know what to do,” said Sherry Cole, county director of services at the Carl Perkins Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse. “It’s time that we bring this tough topic into the light. … It’s time we came together as a community to talk about it and to say that we do not want this to happen to our children.”
“Darkness to Light,” a Stewards of Children workshop, was offered at the Carl Grant Events Center. The training was sponsored by the Leadership Jackson Alumni Association and the Carl Perkins Center.
Attendees included students, social workers, educators, Boy Scout leaders, church leaders and more. About 150 were registered, Cole said, and about 50 attended the same workshop Saturday.
Cole said the goal of the program is to educate about child sexual abuse, particularly because many people believe it does not affect them.
However, one in 10 children will experience child sexual abuse by the age of 18, according to program materials.
The workshop included two video segments along with discussions led by Cole and Kim Hendrix, director of the Henderson County Carl Perkins Center. The videos included testimony of child sexual abuse survivors interspersed with advice from experts and people who have had to form policies regarding child sexual abuse.
The workshop focused on five steps: Learn the facts, minimize the opportunity, talk about it, recognize the signs and react responsibly.
Facts included the definition of child sexual abuse, which is: “Any sexual act between an adult and a minor, or between two minors when one exerts power over the other” and “Forcing, coercing or persuading a child to engage in any type of sexual act. It also includes non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism, and communication in a sexual manner by phone or internet.”
According to course materials, 90 percent of children who are victims know their abuser.
Thirty percent are abused by family members and 40 percent by older or more powerful children. Most child victims never report sexual abuse.
“You can’t parent based on trust these days,” Cole said, pointing to the fact that “stranger danger” is the problem in only 10 percent of child sexual abuse cases. “You have to parent based on reality.”
These children are often abused by people they trust, such as Sunday School teachers, tutors, sports coaches, or friends and family.
The program also urged adults to minimize the opportunity for abuse, particularly by avoiding one-on-one situations. Eighty percent or more of child sexual abuse incidents happen in these circumstances.
Internet use should be monitored and churches and schools should arrange so that a teacher and student—or an older and younger student—are never alone in the bathroom or a classroom together, according to the videos.
Cole said organizations must have policies in place and that people working with children must be screened by more than a mere background check.
After the event, she added that people like Union students, who often work with children in camps or mentoring programs, must set clear boundaries to protect both themselves and the children they work with. Students should also educate themselves on the signs of sexual abuse, she said.
“If you don’t have this information, then you may miss so much,” she said.
The program stated that parents must have open conversations about bodies, sex and boundaries with their children, teaching them the proper names for body parts and that they have the right to say “no” even to family friends.
Upon discovering or suspecting child sexual abuse, a person must also react responsibly.
The course advised that if a child discloses the abuse, a person must listen, stay calm, ask open-ended questions and assure the child that it is not his or her fault.
Then the person should report the abuse to the police or child protective services, as they should do if they discover the abuse themselves.
Tennessee requires that all individuals who suspect abuse must report it, Cole said.
“Error on the side of the child,” she said. “If you’re wrong, great.”
Jennifer McCraw, who has worked in nonprofit management and is a mother, said she thought the workshop might encourage people to report abuse, even if they are afraid of doing so.
“I could hear people in the room gasping at certain things that were said,” she said. “I’m really thrilled that this room is full of people who are learning about this subject and what to look for and how to help kids. There are plenty of kids out there like they said who aren’t reporting, who don’t have anyone to advocate for them.”
