I’ve been living with people all my life. I’ve had to learn the hard way to ask my roommates to do the dishes for once, how to buy earplugs so I don’t hear my roommates’ 47 alarms in the morning, and how to share a bathroom – all very valuable lessons. Learning to live with people was hard, but totally doable.
When I moved into my current housing situation, I knew that my roommate had a Chihuahua. I was aware that living with a dog would be different than just living with people, but Chihuahuas are small, and I figured that it would be easy enough to get along. Living with people seemed to be going pretty well, so how bad could it be living with a pup?
Well let me tell you, I was utterly unprepared. Living with Leila (or as we like to call her, Taco) is in fact, the worst, and it’s not even because of the times she has pooped on my floor or the times when I have barefootedly stepped on the food that she so slovenly leaves on the kitchen floor. No, living with Taco is hard entirely because of her personality.
First of all, she’s lazy. Every time I get home, she’s just sitting on the couch. There can be 800 other things she needs to be doing, but she chooses to snooze on all of the pillows.
One time we tried to introduce her to a more tropical lifestyle and that is when we discovered that she has absolutely no respect for other cultures.
She hates pumpkins – won’t even look at them.
She reads all about communication and family conflict, but whenever I ask to chat, she’s never willing to sit down and hash out our differences.
Taco struggles to find friends. She thinks she’s better than the other dogs.
Whenever we try to do something nice for her, she just rolls her eyes. She doesn’t appreciate anything. This time for instance, was when we tried to throw her a party in celebration of her Instagram account (@leila_taco) receiving 100 followers. She was obviously thrilled…
She’s tiny, and because she’s tiny, she feels entitled, so she makes someone hold her up every time she wants to see something. We can’t go anywhere without her constant nagging.
She lives in a false reality where she believes she is actually much tougher than she is (which makes it a huge struggle to reason with her).
Every time I try to talk to her she does this.
Clearly Taco is self-centered and difficult to deal with. She has a huge personality for such a small creature and it is really overbearing. Vetstreet.com says Chihuahuas can “become little tyrants, displaying manners that would not be acceptable in a larger dog.” I would have to say that I agree. Taco has become far too big for her tiny, tiny britches. She jumps on every opportunity to make my life more difficult. I have to keep my door shut all the time because I know that the minute I leave it open, I will be greeted with a fragrant smattering of fecal matter on my tan carpet, or worse, in my closet. It is very hard to live under such oppression and tyranny.
The way I see it, at this point I have three options.
Option A: Do nothing. Say nothing. Try to blend in with the surroundings and hope she forgets all about me.
Option B: Take a page out of Jim Halpert’s book. Play small, calculated pranks on her to make myself feel better.
Option C: Change my major to Aeronautical Engineering. Revive NASA. Create a miniature space shuttle. Put her in said shuttle. Send said shuttle to the moon. Give her the title of “First Chihuahua in Space.”
Vote here.
