This feature written by Corinne Olund and photographed by Katherine Cheshire was originally published in the Spring 2018 edition of the Cardinal & Cream magazine. Daniel Musselman, an associate professor of music died on Monday, November 19 after battling cancer for a year-and-a-half. This piece is being published on our website to honor his memory and celebrate his faith.
“My husband’s fight is strong. The kids and I can never doubt that he loves us and will fight to beat cancer with every fiber of his body. Our doctor told us that, in addition to chemo, exercise may be his best weapon in fighting this cancer. So last night, on a chemo night when Dan felt terrible, he rode the exercise bike. That’s love, and I treasure that.”
Cancer was never the road Dan Musselman, or anyone for that matter, would have chosen for himself and his family. But even as an unexpected and destructive cancer has left him with no hope in any medicine, he leans on God as his only hope of healing, both physically on earth and eternally in Heaven, whenever that time comes.
He greeted me with the kindest gaze and warmest smile, inviting me to make myself at home. Sunlight from the window by his desk drenched the room with soft yet brilliant natural light. Although I had never been here, it felt like home. I immediately noticed several framed pictures of his family throughout the room as well as a wooden sign near his door that read “choose hope.”
In the spring of 2017, Dan first noticed some gastrointestinal irregularities. What was intended to be a precautionary colonoscopy to solidify a diagnosis and begin implementation of a solution for this issue would later become a diagnosis of aggressive colon cancer.
“I didn’t initially handle the news well,” Dan said. “Cancer is a robber.”
Dan has been married to his wife Malinda for 15 years now, and they have three kids. He earned a master’s degree in composition from Westminster Choir College. Dan then earned his doctorate in composition from the University of Kansas in 2010. That same year, he joined the faculty at Union University as a visiting professor in the music department. He had never heard of Union University before a mutual friend from his undergraduate years connected him to the institution. After spending a year as a visiting professor, he applied for and began a tenure track position the following year.
In addition to serving with Union’s music department faculty, Dan is a conductor and gifted pianist as well as a member of the music advisory panel for the Tennessee Arts Commission. As an accomplished composer, the Jackson Symphony Orchestra and the Memphis Chamber Choir have performed his compositions in recent years.
For someone who had a perfect medical history and an already impressive career by his late 30s, with no sign of anything short of continued success, the cancer diagnosis came crashing down upon the Musselman family like an unforeseen wave.
On June 2, 2017, he met with an oncologist at Kirkland Cancer Center in Jackson, Tennessee. Dan explained that although Kirkland is not high in national rankings of cancer centers, it has been the right place for their family, as well as the home to an amazing transfusion floor staff. Several of the nurses there are believers and have supported the family beyond physical care with prayer, Scripture, and encouragement shared through specific worship songs.
On the Friday of their first visit to Kirkland Cancer Center, the oncologist was direct.
“You want the truth,” he assured.
The truth, however, was far from what the family hoped. It was already Stage IV cancer with no cure in existence and very few options for treatment. Dan admitted that while he didn’t know what to do with the news at first, his wife Malinda was and continues to be a rock for their family.
Malinda remembers receiving the news and instantly feeling numb. Struggling to even process the words coming out of the doctor’s mouth, she kept asking him to repeat himself. But beyond the shock of the news, they were determined to fight this cancer together, no matter how long the road ahead would be.
“During the first two weeks the initial shock wore off, but we still kept getting bad news at every appointment. It hurt like nothing ever had before, but we did not feel devastated,” Malinda said. “We felt more confident of God’s love than we ever had before. It was the start of ‘peace that surpasses all understanding.’”
When asked what she has admired most about her husband through this trial, Malinda reflected, “His faith in Christ is firm, and his love for God and desire to please Him is strong. He has maintained a positive outlook throughout this fight.”
Malinda has at least a dozen verses taped around their home, but their family’s claim verse during this time has been Isaiah 41:10, which says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
The hymn that Dan points to as a primary source of encouragement for him in this time is Be Still My Soul.
“It’s a hard hymn because it takes you to heaven,” he said.
Tears flowed steadily; however, they weren’t tears of defeat but of a stunning hope. It was a glimpse into eternity, a glorious golden light that lingered in the time to come.
“I want to go down, but just not yet.”
Dan addressed the difficulty his diagnosis has brought in forcing him to look his own mortality in the face. He explained that it really changes how he looks at life and other people. To describe chemo as difficult would be an understatement, but Dan has never allowed his treatment to prevent him from showing up for work. His commitment to keep going shines brilliantly against the backdrop of his faith as he has chosen to stay at Union and continue serving as the acting chair.
“For me, staying is therapy,” he said. “I can’t help but think that maybe God brought me to Union for this trial, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
Hayley Lievers, who will soon graduate from Union University’s music department, spoke about the undeniable impact Dan’s leadership has had on her. Once, as she sat in Jennings, overcome with stress about an upcoming singing test, Dan walked in and invited her: “Come into my office. You need Bach’s cello suites.”
And so, they listened to Bach until she had to go take her singing test.
“Dr. Musselman wears a lot of hats, and I’m sure he was way more stressed that day than I. But that’s the kind of person he is—someone who will take a moment to be kind to someone even if his hands are full,” Lievers said. “He always went out of his way to help me when I needed it. Ways that he will never get any public recognition for yet ways that made a huge difference in my life. I still quote him and remember things he encouraged us to do as musicians and as Christians. And I will take those lessons with me throughout my life. We are lucky to have him and his family at Union.”
Growing up, Dan always heard pastors talk about trials, but he never knew how he would be tested. But now in the face of a life-changing test, he chooses a lens of hope to see this cancer battle as just another step in the journey.
“I’ve often thought that cancer takes control of the body and robs anyone’s future, but let it never be said by me that it’s unfair, because I don’t need to know why. All I have is Christ, and he is all I need.”
Dan and Malinda have been firsthand recipients of countless acts of kindness and generosity from friends and family. In fact, they encountered initial support the day Dan was diagnosed, when the nurse who had been with them earlier in the day held Malinda’s hand, stayed with her, answered any questions over text in the following days, and began reaching out to people to begin praying for the family.
“Our Union music family—alumni, colleagues and students—has been unbelievable. They’ve been present with us from the very beginning,” Malinda said. “People have donated financially in such a generous way through our GoFundMe account, gift cards, and gifts. Friends and sometimes even people we don’t know yet have helped us in ways that don’t make sense, and it’s all very humbling. God is so good to us to put these people in our lives.”
The support beyond the Union music department has also been so vast and rich that Malinda feared she would miss something and let a friend’s heart or service go unnoticed. But she began to list off the various evidences of God’s power and love at work through the selflessness of others. Among her extensive list, she wanted to thank friends who have provided a place for visiting family, watched the kids during treatment days and appointments, done chores around the house, provided many meals, and prayed faithfully.
When asked what he hopes people see through all of this, Dan paused. But this delay didn’t feel stiff or as if the inquiry had stumped him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. There was a sensed weightiness in the coming answer that stayed suspended in the very atmosphere of his office for several seconds.
Before responding, Dan released a heavy sigh followed by a steady, convicting stream of tears.
“Christ.”
