“Women lie about rape.”
“The majority of sexual assaults are committed by those the victims do not know.”
“If a person doesn’t say no, they are consenting to sex.”
These are the common myths about sexual assault and violence that Mara White, program manager of sexual assault services at WRAP, began by eliminating in her bystander intervention training. White taught that only about two to six percent of rape reports are false, the majority of sexual assaults are committed by those the victims know and the absence of “no” does not mean “yes.”
WRAP, a program in West Tennessee that provides services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, taught Union students skills and strategies to safely intervene as a bystander to sexual violence on Monday, April 23, in the G.M. Savage Memorial Chapel.
“Rape is not about sex,” said White. “It is about power.”
Sexual violence is any form of manipulation or force that is used to control and humiliate victims in order to intimidate and instill fear. Sexual violence includes rape, harassment, hate crimes, stalking and much more.
A bystander is someone who is present and potentially in a position to discourage, prevent or interrupt an incident, and by acting, a bystander is eliminating the power perpetrators have.
Bystanders have the ability to change a situation completely, and White taught three practical and safe approaches to intervening: direct, distract and delegate.
Stepping in and addressing the situation directly can be as simple as telling someone to stop or leading a person away from a potentially dangerous situation.
This technique must be used strategically and tends to work better when the accuser knows and trusts those trying to intervene, but acting directly is discouraged when drugs or alcohol are involved because someone’s ability to rationally understand the intervention may be impaired.
Distracting either person in the situation is the recommended technique for when drugs and alcohol are involved because it is easier to distract those under the influence than those who are sober. Intervene by changing the topic and refocusing the situation.
Find others who can help intervene by using techniques such as “splitting,” distracting one person in the situation while a friend distracts the other, or find someone else who possibly knows the people in the situation and see if they can go talk to their friend or intervene.
“These techniques showed me that there are many different ways that I can interfere a questionable situation because even a small action from one person could potentially save a life,” said Audrey Steffens, a freshman nursing major.
Intolerance for sexual violence must be taken seriously, and as bystanders, it is important to keep the conversation going and to share these tips and strategies with those in the community.
If you or someone you know has been or potentially could be sexually assaulted, call WRAP’s 24/7 sexual violence hotline at 1-800-273-8712.
