College is a weird time. Home is a relative term, friendships are hard to discern and quarter-life crises are all too common.
My freshman year was probably like most people’s. Welcome Week I had a ton of instant “friendships.” I finally had a long-lasting community.
But then fall break hit, and my community crumbled quicker than Pompeii.
But no worries, everyone will have a new group of “besties” by the following week.
This narrative is a repetitive one. Nearly every semester, social groups change and people move on to new “friends.”
I think like many other college students, this constant change is hard on oneself. I like having soul-deep connections with those around me and pursuing them for the long-term. I don’t like playing musical chairs every semester where people have moved around or worse, having friends that are now missing from my life.
This narrative extends beyond college, though. When I went back to my hometown on break, my old friends seemed different. Some of my friends didn’t even come back home.
When people didn’t return, home no longer seemed like home. But then again, neither did college.
I think this is a common feeling in a college student’s season of life. Each of us is constantly moving between places and friend groups, so it is hard to have somewhere to ground oneself in.
I remember my freshman self took this whole revelation hard. I sat in my tiny dorm room staring at the wall. I was listening to a playlist my friend had sent me. The song “Rivers and Roads” by The Head and the Heart came on.
It was early October when I heard this song for the first time. The dismal gray color of the sky matched my mood and the music. The male vocalist began to sing,
A year from now we’ll all be gone
All our friends will move away
And they’re going to better places
But our friends will be gone away
I remember smiling bitterly because this was how I felt.
Relistening to this song in 2020 has been ironic because more so than any other year in my generation’s lifetime, things are different.
The following lyrics talk about how “nothing is as it has been.” I feel as if this year has been constant change. While people might tell us, “Improvise, adapt, overcome,” I think 2020 is too big of a riptide to just surf over our problems.
I think for college students this year might be hard in a different way than for others. Our lives are already in constant chaos of change. By adding on to that chaos, our lives are even more tough.
Feeling like one has no true friends to find comfort in or not having a home to go back to is hard.
The past few months have had its ups and downs. Each of us has taken a toll from this long and lamented year.
More than ever, a common feeling among college students has been loneliness. Either one feels alone because of their problems because no one will understand, or they actually feel lonely, as if they have no one in their life.
I think it is important to travel these “Rivers and Roads” together. We must meet each other in our struggles and make it through this challenging year.
I think when one feels alone, it is harder to get over the tough season one is in. But when surrounded by friends or family, things become way easier.
