Perspective: Filling Our Time In A Worthwhile Manner

Picking up my iPhone, I am greeted with the quaint glow of the ocean. It is a reminder to me that if the Lord is sovereign over the vast unknown, He is absolutely in control over my future and the futures of others. Smiling at that truth, I continue browsing my phone until my thumb opens the ESPN app nestled in the bottom left-hand corner of my screen. 

I will be honest, I do not watch ESPN that much. It is one of those activities I usually only participate in when my whole extended family has outvoted me on what to watch (which is why the app is nestled deep in my phone).

Missing my family, today I scroll through the featured watch section by choice. In doing so, I am overcome with the bizarre realization that our world does not know how to take a step back and rest from consumption… and I am at fault for this, too. 

It is our nature to be consumers. We constantly fill our time with the consumption of media, binge-worthy Netflix shows, music, activities and so much more. And now that our sports have been obliterated, we try to mask the pain by living vicariously through the re-airing of past games. 

Do not get me wrong. It hurts me too. 

I am hurt as I watch LSU vs. Tennessee play basketball so freely when I can hardly go outside. I am hurt that I cannot be with my extended family to hear them yelling at the screen, even if I do not care too much for the game itself. 

As they pass the ball and go head-to-head towards the basket, it is especially weird knowing I am watching a re-air of a game. This game happened just a couple of months ago. Social distancing was not even in our vocabulary, and I think that weirdness made it hurt a tad bit more. 

Everything was taken away so abruptly. We blinked, and it was gone. 

I continue to watch a couple of minutes more and then stop. I look at a new section on the app that highlights all the top videos and click the first one that reads: “Gronk shoved out of the way by Mojo Rawley.”

This clip is two minutes long. Gronk talks for about a minute and a half of it until the last 10 seconds finally roll around showing a scripted fight in which Gronk is “shoved” out of the way for a championship title. 

Then it hit me again: we really have no clue how to pause and fill our time in a worthwhile manner. Clearly I did not if I had just spent the last two minutes of my time watching a fake shove unfold. 

I cannot express how irritated I was watching something as silly as that. I will give ESPN credit for trying their best to develop new, creative little sports clips when all we can do is watch re-airs, but it was no doubt a cringe-worthy experience.  

I am even cringing at myself for choosing to watch that clip.

In my frustration, I prayed for this virus to be over as abruptly as it came. Specifically, I prayed for it to be over on Easter because then there would be no doubt in a non-believer’s eye that my God is alive. Yes. Yes! God will open their eyes and soften their hearts with a miraculous disappearance of the virus.

I was on FaceTime with my brother for a bit and expressed to him my grand idea of this prayer.

“Wouldn’t that be amazing?” I asked as if somehow I understood the Lord’s plan after all.

He looked blankly at me on the screen, and his response convicted me of my futile and depraved thoughts.   

“Natalie, do you want the Lord to remove the virus on Easter for your glory or His?” he asked.

Trying to mask my conviction, I jokingly replied, “98 percent for His glory and 2 percent mine.”

But it was true. I wanted this to be over because I wanted to be active again. I wanted to go back to my normal routine. I wanted to fill my time investing in my friends. I even wanted to play pick-up sports with my extended family again instead of seeing clips of other people do it on ESPN. 

The Lord graciously altered my perspective as my brother continued to remind me that this was an awesome opportunity to grow with the Lord. We have the time and energy to dive head-on in our relationship with Him. We can consume more of Him. We can find rest in Him rather than our other consumptions. And when it is over in the Lord’s sovereign time, we have an amazing opportunity to express to nonbelievers where our peace and hope came from during our time in quarantine. 

I locked my screen to see the ocean again. The reminder remained, but much more vividly. The Lord is sovereign over my life and the lives of everyone else.

Photo courtesy of Mattanah DeWitt