Thursday, I drove from my off-campus apartment to my last first class at Union, and somewhere between my apartment and Jennings Hall it finally struck me.
I sat at a red light, watching cars zoom past me on the bypass as I impatiently tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the chuga-chuga beat of Miley Cyrus’s “Drive” from her very underrated album “Bangerz.” This is the first chance I’ve had to myself this morning to sit and reflect on what I got going today. My monologue (not an inner-monologue because I talk to myself out loud when I’m alone) is as follows:
“Alright so I’m headed to class.”
“Ope, gotta check Eluvian, Ellucin, Eull — or whatever to see where my class is.”
“Do I have a lunch break? Tummy is already upset for some food.”
“Oohhh I HAVE to go to Walmart. I don’t even have a notebook for class.”
And then I began sobbing so hard like there was a water hose screwed into the back of my head sending a constant stream of water through my tear ducts. No, not over the fact that I haven’t even gotten a notebook for class yet. After making this realization out loud, I thought about how funny it was that freshman Madeline would have gotten her school supplies at least a week in advance, but senior Madeline does not even think about a notebook until she’s headed to class.
That was the trigger. I’m not a freshman, and I’m not even close to being a freshman. I am a big girl. I’m a senior. And I’m not going to be an “anything” except for just myself in four months. TRIGGERED.
I’ve been into my senior year now for a full semester, and I had a whole summer to process the fact that I had a year left until I was pitched into independence. But that didn’t stop this emotionally-charged enneagram four from feeling all her feelings at that moment. Thinking about the differences between myself from freshman year to who I am now as a senior and all the experiences I’ve had and the people I’ve met who’ve influenced those changes and experiences- that’s what draws an uncontrollable flow of tears from my eyes every time.
Talking to my friends, I realized that our experiences here are not that different, despite what organizations we are a part of, the majors we have or the people with which we hang out.
One of those friends is a man named Jacob Lovelace. Lovelace is a senior nursing major, and he’s a part of several organizations on campus like SNA and SAE. He and I met within the first month of our freshman year here. He was one of the first people I considered to be a friend at Union. Lovelace is fun-loving, laid-back and usually everyone’s favorite person in a room.
Another friend of mine, Jaime May is a senior psychology and sociology double major. She’s a member of Zeta Tau Alpha and is the senior class president. May and I met through mutual friends our sophomore year, and funny enough, neither of us liked each other at first! However, that has definitely changed, and now we live together! May is hard-working, diligent and will always fight for the weakest in the room.
Lovelace and May have a little in common, but for the most part, they are two vastly different people. Reflecting with these two on their time here at Union, it is evident that if this were a movie, Lovelace and May would definitely serve as foil characters for one another. However, the subtle similarities in their experiences shows us that the college experience is really what you make it.
I asked Lovelace what was his most memorable experience in these past four years. He said that the way Union orchestrates our first few weeks on campus made it possible for him to connect to all kinds of people and make friends he probably wouldn’t have even paid attention to had he gone to another school.
May reflected on a similar experience. However, she pointed out the professor and staff’s intentionality with her throughout the years and their willingness to form relationships and push her to extend her limits.
“The care and love that our professors have,” May said. “I don’t know of another college where a professor will read a proverb before class and then pray over your success.”
However, it would not be a true college experience if we did not have any regrets. Both Lovelace and May lamented on their involvement in certain aspects of college. For Lovelace, he regrets not becoming more involved in extracurriculars during the first couple of years at Union when he had more time to give to them. May, however, regrets giving up quality time to do homework and extracurriculars rather than spending more time with friends doing dumb college things like staying up until six a.m. watching scary movies.
But with regret comes great advice. May’s advice extends from her own regrets. She urges that you should blow off studying sometimes and go watch movies all night with your friends or drive four hours away to catch a free concert.
Lovelace’s piece of advice is one that takes me back to sobbing into my steering wheel on the way to class.
“My favorite quote ever is ‘anything lost can be found again except for time wasted,’ so don’t waste your time,” Lovelace said. “Because four years seems like a long time, but time flies, you know, when you’re having fun.”
Photo courtesy of Neil Cole
