I have been feeling like a real-life cliche. I have been dancing in my room, crying in the shower and learning to love myself.
I was scrolling through TikTok and stumbled on a post where a girl was doing her hair and makeup with no alternative motive but to sit in her room with her own company.
I frowned, silently judging how weird it was for her to put herself together only to stay in her room. All the comments mocked her and pointed out how “cliche” it was and how she was a “pick me” girl. The girl received so much hate that she took down the video and has not posted since.
It was not until Lizzo dropped her album “Special” that I realized how wrong we were and how right that girl on Tik Tok was.
I have always been taught to love no matter who the person is or what the person does. Love did not have to be romantic, but loving your neighbor was vigorously implemented in my house growing up. Unfortunately, I spent so much of my life learning to love others for who they are that I neglected loving myself for who I am.
The world has made loving yourself such a taboo and a self-centering thing that when we see someone doing something for themselves, we deem it selfish and cringeworthy.
The girl on TikTok was genuine and authentic. She dressed herself up because she wanted to, not because she was trying to cater to others around her. Instead of admiring how great it was that she cared and loved herself, the world tore into her and reinforced the notion that loving yourself is not a priority but simply a cliche.
“2 Be Loved” is a song from Lizzo’s album that discusses falling in love with yourself. The song follows a woman’s journey who has spent her entire life neglecting her feelings; she never felt as if loving herself was important or even worth it. Lizzo perfectly represents how everyone deserves to love themselves despite what society deems is worth loving.
Lizzo’s song acknowledges that you do not have to look like America’s Next Top Model to love yourself or even consider yourself worth loving.
It was rare to find someone who looked like me on TV growing up, and while things are much more evolved, it’s still rare to find someone who looks like me on TV receiving the love they deserve.
Lizzo is far from what society would consider “beautiful” or “inspiring.” She is a plus-sized black woman in a world where many people would deem her unworthy of love.
“2 Be Loved” pushes the narrative that everyone deserves love despite their color, size, age or gender, but not just any love. They deserve the love that only they can give themselves. The type of love does not have you questioning how someone else can love you. The kind of love that makes you do your hair and makeup and get dressed up to be with your company.
In “2 Be Loved,” Lizzo expresses how she used to refuse others loving her because she did not love herself but didn’t know why she did not love herself. She was still beautiful, and her beauty standard, so why on earth would she ever think she wasn’t worth loving?
I struggle a lot with my body image issues, and I allow myself to neglect my feelings simply because putting myself first seems wrong and impossible.
This summer, I did not go on some big fun journey around the world; instead, I went on a journey of self-love and finally was able to say that I am ready to be loved, especially by myself. I started working out because I loved it, not to morph my body into something I could love.
I began to thank people for compliments and not question how bizarre someone was for finding me remotely pretty. I started posting dance videos on TikTok and not waiting until I was “thinner” or “prettier.”
I finally began to love myself for who I am and not what I wish I could have been.
Loving yourself will probably always be seen as something you have to do silently, and the actions behind loving yourself may always make you a real-life cliche, and that is just the heavy crown you have to wear.
