Imagine this: you have a several-hour drive home for break. You do not have a car, so you ask around campus to see who is going in that direction. You learn that a buddy of a buddy is also going to the same place, and they would be more than happy to drive you home. Everything seems great, so you arrive at their car on that fated day, load up, jump in, and then they say, “Sorry in advance. My radio is broken.”
Dread fills your stomach. Tears leak slowly from your eyes as somewhere a children’s choir sings “Ave Maria.” Panic lights your whole body ablaze with nervous energy.
Okay, so it’s probably not that dramatic, but a long car ride with someone you barely know and there’s no radio — it’s uncomfortable, right? Some of you can probably feel the palpable silence that is already settling in the vehicle even before you pull out of the parking lot.
Or think about when you go to the library. How often do you go into a quiet study spot only to put your Airpods in and turn on noise? When was the last time you experienced true silence?
Some people have to sleep with the TV playing in the background or a podcast reading them conspiracy theories as they doze off.
Restaurants play AC/DC while you saw into your steak. Hobby Lobby plays instrumental hymns as you browse the bead aisle. Auto shops have the news eulogizing your local billionaire philanthropist who donated 20 puppies to Goodwill on Labor Day.
If you walk through pretty much any public, trafficked area, you are likely going to see more people than not with earbuds in.
On Easter Sunday, I went to lunch with a couple of my friends at a restaurant. The waiter who served us had one Airpod in while he took our order. It is not uncommon now for service workers to have an earbud in while they speak to you, usually making you feel like they are only half engaged with the conversation that they are being paid to have with you. My friend mentioned that, sometimes, having one earbud in helps distract some people from their anxiety and better enables them to be more engaged in their conversation. I can’t say I relate to that, but I can empathize with it.
The restaurant I work at has live music on the weekends. The music is typically pretty loud, meaning that if your table is next to the band, conversation should just be foregone for the rest of the night. We have guests come in that want to be on our patio to hear the music, but not close to the band so that they can still converse. The music basically becomes background noise at that point.
Taking all of this into account, it makes me wonder: what does it all mean? Only in 2022 does it make sense that our first instinct, when we’re doing anything, is to pop in an Airpod and fill our heads with other people’s voices.
Noise, specifically of the musical variety, is a staple of modern culture. So much so that psychologists are seeing a new phobia on the rise: the fear of silence.
I’m no psychologist myself, but it sort of makes sense if you think about it. It is nearly impossible to go anywhere without being stimulated by noise, whether that is from radio, TV, phone, etc. There are generations alive now who will likely never know a world without noise.
When we are so used to being stimulated all the time, a lack of stimulation would feel uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing. It might even be hard to function without it.
Noise has become our metaphorical pacifier.
In each of the situations mentioned, noise creates a buffer between us and our lack of control.
The person in the car is going to feel the pressures of social civility to make conversation. If the conversation dies, they might feel that reflects poorly on their ability to be interesting, forcing them into conversational crutches that they might be ashamed of (dirty jokes, awkward laughing, etc.). But if they do not keep talking to fill the silence, then all they feel like they can do is think about how they are not able to fill the silence. They feel out of control and anxious, things they wouldn’t have to feel as strongly if the music was playing.
The other situations are similar. Studying in silence, walking in silence, sleeping in silence and eating in silence are all things that we are not used to in our noisy culture. Without noise present, our thoughts wander, and we cannot focus. Noise provides structure and allows us to direct our thoughts and actions accordingly.
With this in mind, it makes sense that the service worker might actually be able to perform their job better with one Airpod in. If they feel out of control, directed noise might be just the thing they need to provide some familiar structure and comfort.
With the rise of the digital revolution came a turning of the tables which allowed noise to function as silence once used to, and silence to become the thing that scatters us most.
If you can relate to this, it might feel good to realize that you are certainly not alone, but also remember that even if it helps you focus, music can only serve that purpose to an extent. At some level, it is still distracting you from good things. So every now and again, adopt Mary Schmich’s mantra to do one thing every day that scares you and take your Airpods out while you’re walking to class. Observe those around you and maybe try to teach yourself to exist less in an artificial world and more in the organic one.
Photo by Laila Al-Hagal
