I hate change. I always have. To me, change means leaving the familiar behind and having to exchange it for something new. However, I don’t think change is necessarily as black and white as I have it painted in my head: perhaps there is some gray there, and we can let those two extremes coexist. Can you mourn what could have been and still be content with ending up where you are now?
“Past Lives” is an independent Korean-American drama that captures the relationship of two close childhood friends Nora, played by Greta Lee, and Hae Sung, played by Teo Yoo. The young friends are separated upon Nora’s family’s emigration from South Korea. 12 years pass before the friends reconnect and then another 12 years pass before they reconnect again and actually end up seeing each other in person. These friends have a deep connection and once had the potential to be something more than friends but because life is full of choices, changes and complicated circumstances, our characters must wrestle with this concept of mourning what could have been if nothing had changed.
For me change is hard but for others, it feels more natural. Our two main characters represent different attitudes toward change. Hae Sung is more like me: change is hard for him to understand and accept. How much he will miss his friend clouds his understanding of why she has to or even wants to leave; wouldn’t she miss him?
Nora, on the other hand, has a future-oriented grasp on why change is necessary for her. Even at a young age, she knows she wants to emigrate because she knows it will bring about success in her future. Nora and her family pack up their entire lives to emigrate and start new ones.
When the young friends say goodbye before Nora’s emigration, there is this really beautiful shot that captures them going their separate ways. Nora walks up the stairs to her house and Hae Sung continues walking on the main path. Though they are on different paths now, they are both still moving forward. However, Nora will now move higher faster as she takes a chance at change and gains more opportunities through emigrating.
This shot is simple but conveys so much. First-time feature film director Celine Song has a delicate touch that brings a simplistic realism to this film. Though some people may think flashy cinematography and sweeping soundtracks are needed to give a film emotion, I think this film is able to deliver a much more raw depiction of emotion without those elements.
Some people may find this film hard to watch because it is not dialogue-heavy. Movies are already obviously very visual things but when you take away some of the dialogue, more of the story must be conveyed visually. To make a film with little dialogue work, you need a strong director. Song’s direction allows for intentional silence, and she is not afraid to take up time with that silence. She makes space for the characters’ emotions to be read. There is realism in the silence of this film.
Song’s delicate directorial touch conveys that life is often quiet even when big things are happening. Though things may not feel quiet on the inside, they often are quiet on the outside. Especially for others observing our lives.
Her style also makes this a film for people watchers. In the opening scene, we see three characters sitting at a bar and hear two people conversing about who they think they are and what they think their story is. Immediately upon entering this film, you are brought into the point of view of a people watcher. This sets the tone for how you view the rest of it, prompting you to pay close attention to the body language and emotions of the characters in their silent moments.
As you observe the silent moments, tension is established in most of them. You watch the characters closely during these long pauses and try to anticipate if another change is about to occur at that very moment or if they will watch the opportunity for change pass by.
Even when change is a conscious decision that brings about something we want to happen, there is still grief there for what had to be given up to make that change possible. Nora is happy with the life she has built and understands the changes she has to make to get to where she is. However, she mourns the little girl she was and the little boy she knew.
Similarly, a change in my life that I mourn often is the shift from my childhood to adolescence. I miss my childhood a lot and sometimes I wish I could go back to it. However, I am also very proud of where I am today. I have had to learn how to let these two feelings coexist so that I can live in the present.
Every human experiences change, big or small. Change is part of the human experience, and we have to find the balance of celebrating the fruits of change while still allowing ourselves space to mourn what we left behind.
“Past Lives” is available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime, Apple TV and other digital platforms.
