“I had no margin of free time, I was exhausted all the time, depressed, my spiritual life was lacking and I did not devote time for rest or my friends,” Chris Stano said.
As I sat in the coffee shop exhausted, slightly depressed and running on three hours of sleep and two cups of coffee, I was envious of Stano. He was well-rested, relaxed and slightly over-caffeinated and I immediately wished we could have traded places for the day, or for the rest of my time in college.
After surviving four years of non-stop busy undergrad and gaining alumni status, Stano is now an associate director of worship at Fellowship Bible Church in Jackson, Tennessee.
He now lives a busy, but structured, life that allows him 8+ hours of sleep and provides an abundance of rest that he once did not have during his time in college.
Jealousy filled me when he mentioned how much rest he obtains. That was all I could think about and all he talked about: rest. I listened, sleep deprived, as he talked about how his life has drastically changed from constantly going to classes and drowning in homework to going to work and coming home to enjoy a nice dinner with his wife.
“Life is more enjoyable now that I have the time to intentionally rest and spiritually feed myself,” Stano said. “I always felt guilty for resting in college, or felt that I was failing if I did take time for myself.”
Rumor has it that you’ll never have more free time after college, and that this is your chance to do anything and everything.
Stano politely disagrees.
“My freshman year I had a good heart and I wanted to say yes to anything and everything that I possibly could have,” Stano said. “They were all good things and I did say yes to all of them, but I did not do a single one of them well.”
Stano was not lying when he said yes to absolutely everything. He was a music major attending weekly voice lessons (uncredited), multiple internships, in a fraternity, a student worship leader, in Voices of Proclamation and the list continues on and on. Don’t forget the countless hours of homework mixed in with multiple 75-minute lectures twice a week.
As he quietly laughed across from me, I sat still wondering how it could be possible for college to be just this busy. I did not know it was possible to do “too much” in college and neither did Stano.
“Learn how to say no to good things to do the things you love very well,” Stano said.
As he spoke, I reevaluated everything I have ever said yes to during my time in college. Stano seemed to notice my posture change, and I wondered if he was aware that I was fighting the urge to go buy my third cup of coffee.
As he moved through college, Stano soon came to the realization of just how addicted he was to busyness. He only knew how it felt to be burnt out and overly tired 24/7. He found fulfillment in the constant busyness of college without ever realizing it.
“The big secret: simply do less,” Stano said.
Through talking to Stano, I realized that I myself have an addiction to busyness and constant work. Seeing my irritation at myself, Stano made a significant point and offered me a piece of solid advice.
“After college, I had more alone time and more free time,” Stano said. “My wife worked night shifts and I worked during the day, so I struggled and did not know what to do with myself. During that season of my life, I had to learn how to find true fulfillment and meaning in the Lord and with my relationships.”
Stano finds his fulfillment within the job he holds at Fellowship Bible Church. He works within the college ministry, where he disciples young men and is mentored by a close colleague to keep his walk with the Lord on track.
“There was an attractiveness about Fellowship and the community there,” Stano said. “And life is way more enjoyable now that I am a part of it.”
The life Stano once had as a college student is not regrettable. It allowed him room to grow and understand that life is so much more than constant busyness.
“God created us to rest, and that is now what I do,” Stano said.