“The hardest thing was to stay content with what I have and not what I don’t have,” senior sociology major Caitlyn Ward said.
As a little girl, it is not uncommon to dream of your perfect wedding day: wearing the perfect dress, planning everything down to the last detail, and of course marrying the perfect prince charming. Most women I have met have agreed that they once had that dream or that scrapbook full of magazine cutouts of Vera Wang dresses and perfectly tailored table cloths.
As I prepared myself for this interview, I knew I would lack understanding when speaking with Ward. Dreaming of my future wedding was a reality for me as a little girl, though, over the years, that vision has become more of a distant thought.
For Ward, what once seemed like a distant dream is now becoming a quick reality. Her wedding — filled with twists, minor adjustments and a shorter time-frame than most — is unfolding sooner rather than later. With graduation in just a few short weeks, there are quite a few ‘lasts’ in both our college journeys, but so many ‘firsts’ for her that will shape her future.
“I got engaged on November 26, 2024, and will have a little over a four-month-long engagement,” Ward said with a smile. “When we got engaged, our church, Cornerstone Community Church, announced that they were tearing the church down and rebuilding at the end of April, and we both really wanted to get married in that church. It has sentimental meaning for the both of us.”
I could feel the excitement radiating in the room as she walked me through the tiny details of her wedding day (April 5) and showed me her dainty rehearsal dinner dress. Beyond the excitement was a feeling of sadness as we shared the memories and few sentimental moments we have left in college.
Though Ward will be graduating in May, her soon-to-be husband will not graduate until December, leaving small opportunities for her to still gain more college experience.
“I am at a point where I have gotten tired of inconvenient things like people above me dropping something at 2 a.m. or sharing a fridge with four people,” Ward said, laughing.
I nodded my head in agreement and laughed along with her. It’s not easy living below people who are heavy-footed and like to stay up past midnight.
“I keep reminding myself that it is not going to be like this in a few weeks,” Ward continued. “It is sad in a friendship way. I love my roommates this year, and I am sad to leave them relationally, but practically, I am excited to move onto the next.”
For Ward, the next chapter of her life is already so clear and in motion, while for many other seniors, including myself, the future is still unknown. What we both know is that the senioritis is still the same despite planning a wedding.
At that moment, I felt myself envying her certainty. I wanted to feel the same sense of security. I found that the certainty and security came with a price, though.
“I suggested getting married earlier and would be willing to sacrifice some of my expectations I’ve had for a long time to be in that church,” Ward said. “The time of the wedding is different, suit color, food options, even down to the send off — I always wanted flower petals but had to settle for bubbles due to the church rules.”
Although not ideal, Ward mentioned that due to her light class load and abundance of free time, DIY projects became her go-to activity. As a current college student, planning and creating all the details of her wedding became a fun activity to do with her friends and roommates.
“I am still sentimental,” Ward said. “I feel like I am still doing everything that everyone else is doing, just adding on becoming a wife. But Calvin and I are entering this stage of life together, which has been so nice.”
I envisioned myself in her shoes — an almost-wife and college graduate with a changed last name, a new house and a goodbye to friends. I felt both admiration and panic in my chest at all the changes she’s taking on.
“For some, marriage is viewed as an achievement after reaching a certain threshold of money, success or finding fulfillment in identity,” Ward said. “For me, I don’t need to be financially stable — just wise. There is not a level of adulthood or identity I feel like I need to reach before I get married. I just want to be ready for God’s timing, and I feel like I am.”
It was then that I realized: though Ward is at peace in trusting her unusual but exciting path, she has had difficulty in this transition.
“Spiritually, it’s been harder for me to fight against loneliness, jealousy and discontentment in this season of life,” Ward said.
This, I understood and could relate to.
“Someone reminded me to pray specifically, so I have continued to stay faithful despite those feelings and have prayed for the smallest things,” Ward said. “The Lord has been so gracious through it all, and I just can’t wait.”
April 5, 2025, is her big day. I will proudly sit in the sentimental sanctuary and watch her reach her little girl dreams — and admire the hard work that went into all the details.
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