You know that one person you meet, the one you make an instant connection with and from then on are inseparable, lifelong friends?
I became close with my current best friend in college, though I’d known her as my brother’s girlfriend for years before. That friendship is the reason I have so many precious memories and was able to soak in the college experience of an introvert: shopping, TV shows on the couch and too many sweet treats to count. Now, she’s my sister-in-law, so there’s no escaping this relationship for her. I remind her of it often. But I never would have developed that close relationship if we hadn’t attended the same college and built those memories together.
So how could someone meet their future best friend while attending different colleges? Should there be a how-to guide?
I interviewed Lily Vanravenswaay, a senior social work major, and Libby Kate Waters, a junior marketing major, together in Barefoots (if you’ve read many Cardinal & Cream articles, you’ll know exactly what the room looks like). Both had transferred here the previous year, and the two of them were generous with their smiles and willing to talk.
Once they sat down and greeted each other as well, there was a sense of familiarity that eased the unavoidable awkwardness of interactions with complete strangers. I almost felt like I was intruding on a private moment between two friends, but at the same time, it was fun to see the two communicate. Vanravenswaay and Waters sat facing me, occasionally breaking into laughter or smiling at a comment the other made that matched with their own or was just funny. They shared their experiences as transfer students and how that affected their friendship and time at Union in general.
The two actually met before they even attended Union, hitting it off at several Union fraternity date parties that they attended with their boyfriends. Though only Waters was planning to transfer to Union at the time, Vanravenswaay later decided Union was the right choice for her as well, and they became friends and eventually roommates. But it took time for both of them to find their places here at Union.
Her freshman year of high school, Vanravenswaay moved with her family from Jackson to Nashville, where she graduated and attended two colleges. At community college, Vanravenswaay was one of the youngest students. At Columbia State, the classes were full of unfamiliar faces. She chose to try for a third school (Union), hoping it wouldn’t be just another school in the journey to find the right college. This meant a move back to Jackson — away from family — trusting that this transfer was the right decision.
“I wanted to come back to Jackson. It felt like home, and I still had a bunch of friends here who I grew up with,” Vanravenswaay said.
Vanravenswaay took the change in stride. Though she admitted it was difficult at first to find her place, she has settled into Union’s community smoothly and made a place for herself here.
“It was kind of overwhelming at first when you see all these people moving in, and you’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, so many friends,’” Vanravenswaay laughed. “I think it was just getting out of my comfort zone and talking to people [that was so difficult].”
Though a year younger, Waters was in the same boat with a transfer from Arkansas University.
“It was hard for me to come in and make friends my own age,” Waters said. “The first semester it was really a struggle getting close to people my own age just because they had already formed their friend groups.”
Thankfully, she wasn’t alone in that experience.
“I did have Lily going through it because it wasn’t just me; both of us had to go up to people. Both of us had to put ourselves out there,” Waters said.
While Waters admitted that she was the more outgoing of the two, she also confessed that the first semester, she struggled to find friends. Vanravenswaay was her best and only friend for a little while. Though now she’s found her community in their sorority, Vanravenswaay is her best friend and will continue as her roommate once she’s graduated and is getting her master’s.
Vanravenswaay felt the same when she admitted one of the hardest parts:
“Having to make friends who weren’t already Libby because Libby’s obviously my best friend. You need to have multiple friends?” she asked jokingly.
Waters laughed at that. Despite that joke, though, it was obvious to me that there was a layer of truth to her words. After all, once you’ve found your lifelong best friend, who needs anyone else?
Vanravenswaay shared that prayer had really helped her in the process of transferring as she struggled with uncertainty about what would happen with her future. She may have struggled before, but when I met Vanravenswaay, she was open with the pros and cons of her transition.
While Vanravenswaay and Waters did originally struggle to adjust, the two are now lifelong friends because of shared circumstances and how the Lord guided them both to Union. The transition created opportunities for friendship and new experiences, though it was such a big leap of faith. In the end, though, that leap of faith paid off.
“I got to meet a lot of people. I feel like it impacted me in a good way and allowed me to not be so scared of change and get out of my comfort zone,” Vanravenswaay said.
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